Let Them Express Themselves

For Lady Clara’s Harry Potter Book Club celebration yesterday afternoon, I bought her a long green wig. Oh, and did she love it! Lady Clara loved it so much that she fell asleep wearing it. I had planned to put it away this morning to preserve it for a future costume occasion. However, she had other plans.

After Lady Clara got dressed for acting class, I noticed that she had put the wig back on. “Look, mom!” she said with excitement. I immediately told her to take it off. After all, the party was over. There was no reason for her to go outside with an Incredible Hulk green wig on (And, yes… I totally dismissed the fact that it was the Halloween season! I only let her wear the wig because of her club’s event).

Lady Clara did as I instructed. But, she looked so disappointed. I suddenly felt bad. My daughter wanted to express herself in her own way and I was impeding on that because I didn’t want anyone starring at me like I was crazy. I had a quick change of heart, which prompted an even quicker change of expression for Lady Clara.

What I learned from this situation was that when your children want to express themselves, let them. This allows them to explore those things that make them happy or that spark their curiosity. When I was younger, my mom let me express myself. Had she stopped me, I wonder would I be the creative and expressive person that I am today.

The next time Lady Clara or Sir Isaac want to wear something to express themselves, I’m going to let them -- without hesitation. Oh, and to add to her green wig ensemble, I gave Lady Clara her green and white pocketbook to rock. “I’m matching,” she said with enthusiasm. “Yes, you are baby!” I responded.

Well, until I write you next…. I’m just living the solo mommy life.

Love you!

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com

Dear Time... I Need You on My Side!

Last night, a fellow journalist interviewed me regarding my mission to empower single moms and my own walk as a mother raising two children “solo.” One of the last questions that she asked me was, “What would you consider to be your most challenging thing on a daily basis?” Well, that was a no-brainer. The answer is TIME.

Often times, it just doesn’t seem like there’s enough time to do everything. And, I’m just talking about the necessary to-dos of the day. Add a magazine, freelance writing assignments, event planning and extracurricular activities for the children, and it’s definitely crunch time. I get frustrated sometimes because it’s my heart’s desire to fulfill my daily responsibilities and be able to do other things as well.

Sometimes, I joke that I need to be cloned to have another Feona to help with some of the work. It sure would make a difference. But, since I know that’s never going to happen, I must keep pressing on and look at different strategies for getting things done – what I need to do and want to do.

My heart is in the right place and I’m determined to make it happen – and to do so with ease. I’ll let you know how things progress.

Until I write you next… I’m just living the solo mommy life.

Love you,

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com

Your Child Can Do Come Complex Work, So Let Him!

Sir Isaac loves to do math. He mastered adding two-digits numbers in the first grade. Now, that he's a 2nd grader, I feel that he should be (and can be) calculating more complex math equations early on in the school year. Besides, I don't have to wait until something is taught to teach him, right?!

So, today, while chilling out in the education department after art class, I wrote down nine double-digit addition problems for him to do. I explained to him that when doing these types of problems, you always add from right to left, and that if you get a number with two digits, you write the number in the one's column down and "carry over" the number in the tens column.

After I showed him how to do it, I left him to handle his business. And so, it was on! Sir Isaac answered that 17 + 23 = 40, 10 + 28 = 38 and 18 + 25 = 42. I saw that he even corrected himself when he initially answered that 19 + 14 was 23. He changed it, by himself, to 19 + 14 = 33. That showed me that my son was ready to move on to more challenging math problems.

It's exciting for me to see Sir Isaac solve double-digit math problems with ease rather than frustration. I feel good in pushing him to do more. It's only going to advance him and shut down any signs of boredom. He knows simple multiplication, but I'm going to push the envelop on that as well. His mind is open and he's eager to learn. That's an incredible combination.

I think it does a child good to stretch his learning. And, when he gets it right -- even after a few times of trying -- he will feel good about himself because he'll realize that he CAN do it. The look on Sir Isaac's face was priceless when he knocked out those math problems on his own. I'm going to reward him. Shhhh.... don't tell him. It's a surprise! That's the other component to the learning equation. You have to reward your child for doing something new. It's encourages them to want to do more and get better.

Tonight, I'm going to give him some more double-digit problems. And, for each one he gets right, I'm going to give him money. He'll have to add up all of the money at the end of his math session to see how much he earns. If he adds correctly, he gets to keep it all. Learning is his job. It's cool for him to get paid for it. Well, sometimes (LOL).

I encourage you to see what your child can do. If, for example, he is reading two-sentence page books, see if he can read five-sentence page books. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that it's a "piece of cake" for him and that perhaps he needs more. The learning process for our children can be so exciting for them -- and us. Do them a favor and keep them pushing higher and higher.

Well, until I write you next, I'm just living the solo mommy life.

Love you!

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com.

Listen to Your Children... They Have Something to Say

When the school year began in September, I noticed a difference in my children's zeal for their charter school. Instead of high praises of their teaches and learning environment, Lady Clara and Sir Isaac expressed discontent with the people in charge of their learning and the entire scholastic experience. Mind you, this was on a daily basis. This was an instant red flag. My household is filled with people who love education. So, when my children shared their dismay, I not only listened, I took action.

After a month and a half into the school year and after a combined seven years at their school, I pulled them out and enrolled them back into their former elementary school. That Wednesday at 4 pm was their last day at the charter school and the next day, they were matriculated back "home." They responded in such a positive way to returning to their academic roots. There was lots more pep in their step, they were smiling ear to ear, they boasted about their teachers, couldn't wait to do their homework, had more time to eat their lunch and socialize with their friends and they were part of a "real" village.

Pulling them the other school was the right decision. I think if I had kept them there -- completely disregarding their unhappiness of being in a place that they spend more of their time on the weekday -- it would have affected their spirit. I was not willing to jeopardize my children's spirit. In just two and a half weeks of being back at the school where they both got their elementary education start, they have stood out amongst their classmates. Lady Clara was invited to be in a member of the Harry Potter Book Club and her teacher is eyeing her for "Student of the Month" for October. Sir Isaac is showing that he is a leader and has received 100 percent on his spelling tests. They feel loved where they currently are. They are getting the academic support in a nurturing manner. They have support. They are enjoying just "being." I see the diffence. And, interestingly enough, their former crossing guard does too. Just this morning when we passed her on our way to their current school, we had a brief conversation and she said they looked happier.

Moms... I sincerely implore you to listen to your children. They have something to say. If you ignore them, it could destroy their trust in the one person in whom they entrust their livelihood. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to respond favorably to everything that they say, but if it's important enough to them to tell you about the concern day after day, it's time to take notice and take action. In the end, it's about communication and respecting their feelings and concerns. They are "little" people with voices. They need to be heard.

Until I write you next, I'm just living the solo mommy life.

Love you!

Feona Sharhran Huff
Founder & CEO
Solo Mommy Magazine
"Empowering you with savvier ways to live a simpler life
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com