Change IS Good!

For the longest, I have wanted to rock a mohawk hairdo. However, because I am not one to follow everyone elses styling lead, I decided to lay low on the hairstyle change. Besides, I didn't know how it would look on me. I am a firm believer that not everything looks good on everybody.

However (BIG SMILE)... I decided to let my dear friend, Queen, give me a new look about a month ago. Up until then, I was growing my hair out while keeping it in a funky curly fro thanks to the makers of Gummy Gel! After she washed, then flat ironed my hair, I took a look in the mirror and was absolutely amazed. My hair was long and thick. "Wow," I said to myself. "You actually let you hair grow to this lenght. Good going, Feona!"

Then, Queen proceeded to braid my hair. After two hours of sitting still on a makeshift chair, she had completed doing designs on both sides of my head. All that was left was the middle. "Okay, so what do you want me to do," she asked. "I want to rock a mohawk," I exclaimed without hesitation. So, she curled then spiked the hair that was left out. I went back to the mirror and was pleasantly pleased.

I immediately felt differently with my new 'do. While I've always fancied my curly fro, the change in style was a smart move. It's funny because one of Lady Clara's classmates called me Willow (FYI: actress Jada Pinkett Smith's daughter) the next day when she saw the transformation of my hair. I couldn't do anything but flash my signature koolaide smile. Like the hook to the tween's song goes, "I whip my hair!" A longtime friend from my hometown likened me to my fave R&B singer, Mary J. Blige. That was indeed a compliment because the mohawk she (and I) wear is so sassy. And, sassy... I AM! When I went in my neighborhood grocery store that I shop in practically EVERYDAY, the store manager didn't recognize me. He apologized when I said who i was after he replied to my evening greeting a bit differently than usual. I didn't take offense, though. My new 'do was doing something for me. It was changing me.

I embraced the changing of my hair style. I felt an extra pep in my step. I smiled even deeper. I layed on the gloss just a tad bit more (Oh yes... my lipgloss WAS poppin'!). I felt great.

And, you see.... that's what change is suppose to make you feel. While I focused on the change of my hairdo, this mindset applies to the changes that take place in our lives as well. Sometimes we don't want change because we think it's going to mess up our entire M.O. But, that's quite the contrary. Change actually exhances how you do things and empowers you to try even new routes.

So, the next time change knocks at your door (or has a conversation with your hair stylist!), give it a hug and rock it. I embraced some more change even today and it's truly ALL GOOD.

Until I write you next... I'm just living the solo mommy life.

Love you!

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com

Let Them GO... Just a Little Bit!

Recently, while dining at our favorite restaurant, Sir Isaac announced that he had to use the restroom. I was about to make my way to the door to stand guard when he stopped me dead in my tracks. "No, mom," he said. "I can do it by myself. I'm a big boy." He was absolutely right. I am so use to escorting him and Lady Clara and waiting around that I hadn't realized that it's okay to let them go just a little bit.

By saying what he did, Sir Isaac was exercising his right to pursue his independence. I let him go ahead to the restroom by himself, though I must admit that I watched him from afar through the glass door. When he returned to our table, he had a huge smile on his face. "All done, mom," he informed me. I could tell that his experience in doing this on his own was a big deal. And, it was.

As solo mommies especially, we want to protect our children and do everything for them because we love them. However, we have to know when it's time to give them a bit of independence. This will be to their benefit now and in the future. Remember, we are raising leaders, thinkers, creators and owners. They have to get their start early on in order to take their place in this world later on.

So now, when Sir Isaac tells me he's going to the restroom, I say "okay," and let him go. He's a responsbile young man so I have no need to worry. And, that's a great thing!

Until I write you next... I'm just living the solo mommy life.

Love you!

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com

I'm Putting ME on My To-Do List!

Take the children to acting class. Check. Get on a conference call with a music studio executive. Check. Take my mom shopping. Check. Take Feona to dinner and a movie. What?! (scratching my scalp as I say this out loud)

If you saw my daily to-do list, you'd scratch your head in amazement -- not because the list of duties nearly runs off the page but because nothing is centered just around me. It's my fault, though. After all, I am the one in control of scheduling my days. Realizing this, however, I have decided to make a significant change.

This past Friday evening (November 5, 2010) was the beginning of a beautiful relationship with ME. I put me on my to-do list without guilt. I went to see Tyler Perry's film, "For Colored Girls" with a group of 16 savvy ladies, thanks to The Sex CEO & Annamjohnson.com. We sat in three rows equipped with nachos, soda, popcorn and tissue (oh yes... there was some crying going on!). I had a chance to network with ladies who are doing phenomenal things. I laughed, cried, networked and enjoyed being in the company of other ladies.

I'm glad that I went out. It was part of my social development and a great source of balance for all the many things I do for my children and others. And you know what? I'm going to do it again! I just asked one of my BFFs to watch his godchildren for an upcoming weekend so I can go out. He happily said "yes." Done deal!

It's great to empower your children and feed into their socialization, but you have to do the same for yourself. This gives you balance. And, since you are on a solo parenting journey and are the sole source for everything, you have to "Do You, Boo" as the founder of The Phenomenal Woman Empowerment Alliance always encourages. Try it. Start out with alloting 30 minutes to yourself when you get in the house in the evening and demand that there be no interruptions. Run a nice bubble bath. Light some candles. Put on some Sade or Mary J. Chill. Smile. Breathe. Be.

Email me at solomommymag@yahoo.com and let me know how things go. Progres is always empowering.

Until I write you next, I'm just living the solo mommy life.

Love ya!

Feona Sharhran Huff
http://livingthesolomommylife.blogspot.com